I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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