My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
