new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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