The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
