My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
