I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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