i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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