I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Who put my cat in the fridge?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
