So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize