I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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