We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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