What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
