After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
