Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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