No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
