Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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