I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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