we have pet lesbian snakes
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When are your genitals available?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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