in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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