So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i've created a new STD.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
