so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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