how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I party with great urgency now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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