Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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