her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize