There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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