Fuck appropriateness.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
