So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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