Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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