i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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