clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
