quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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