My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
