when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
