how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
