My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
