just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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