Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
