I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
