I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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