Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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