escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
you never un-have a 4some
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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