She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
