Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
