Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
