yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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