wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
