My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
