Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
