I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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