The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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