He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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