Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
