Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
