She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
