So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
