Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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