Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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