Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
