i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
