some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
