i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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