That's intense
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
