My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think your dad took our porno
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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