I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
