You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize