the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
