If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
